Parenting can be one of the most challenging roles of our lives. We strive to raise our children to be independent, confident and capable. But do we know how to help them achieve independence, resilience and the ability to thrive in life?
Recent research indicates that the self-esteem movement in parenting that took hold the last couple of decades has not supported the goal of producing resilient young adults. Rather, this method has lost validity as a parenting style because it does not teach children how to deal with disappointment and loss. The constant stoking of a child’s ego to help them avoid disappointment has lessened their ability to recover from adverse events.
The helicopter parenting style that grew out of the self-esteem movement has led to inappropriate parental involvement. This includes parents who accompany their young adult children to job interviews or call the human resource department to complain if their child did not get the job! How will children develop the ability to roll with change, disappointment and failure if parents continually step in to shelter them from emotional pain and fix every problem that comes along?